Disclaimer: We don’t usually discuss identity politics much at O Society for reasons which will become crystal clear momentarily. What happened is I saw this article in the news feed and the “gotcha” got me. Yes, I know, never get caught by the bait…
by O Society July 23, 2019
…happens to everyone, from the best to the worst of us. I’m neither, but my curiousity was percolated by the use of the term “pansexual.” I freely admit I clicked on the link (you can too, by the way, it’s just USA Today) completely expecting Bella Thorne’s love life to look something like this:
That’s Pan on the right with the cloven hooves. Apparently Aphrodite isn’t amused and is pimp slapping the horny devil with my left shoe.
Unless you live under a bridge like yours truly does, you probably know who Bella Thorne is and what she looks like already. Ahem, assuming Bella is a woman. “Bella Thorne” sounds like like the name of character on a soap opera to me, so WTF do I know about any of this? So I Google some more… yes, the road to hell, I know.
Ok… so ^ this ^ is the first article to come up… looks like Bella is the one on the right, and that’s her mom on the left, and ah… “Have you seen my childhood?” music starts playing in my head, for what reason? She’s a Disney star. Go figure.
No need to recount the body count of Disney kids gone bad, but seems like Lindsey Lohan, Brittney Spears, Miley Cyrus, aren’t there a bunch of Disney princesses who go on to, you know, put their business in the street when they get a little older?
“I don’t ever think about someone being a boy or someone being a girl.”
You don’t ever think about it? WTF? How do you tell the difference between your own mother and father? I get being “colorblind” is PC, but people do notice race. I get being “genderblind” (or whatever this is called) is PC now too, yet people do notice boys and girls. It’s not like we can help it.
Can we stop with the delusions of neutrality? It doesn’t pass the kindergarten test and it sounds well… super stupid and narcissistic awesomesauce, actually!
“I learned how to read from reading scripts,” she says. Sexual abuse, Stockholm syndrome… ah, wrote new book called Life of a Wannabe Mogul: Mental Disarray just came out on same day as this interview. That explains it. She’s pimping her new book. Got it. When a regular person is mentally ill, we shuffle them off in a corner somewhere and hope someone’s established a lifeline of sedating drugs for them. You know, so these folks won’t be too much hassle for the rest of us. But when you’re famous, why being crazy is not only encouraged, it’s a lucrative money making thing that goes ka-ching! now isn’t it?
Don’t get me wrong, not judging anyone. Well, OK. Michael Jackson was a pedophile, which is some bizarre lunacy, so we are indeed judging him as sick. Thing is, if you or I was as gorgeous as what’sherface, Bella… doesn’t that mean “beautiful” in Latin or something? Beauty and the Beast is Disney princess with ah, Pan, the goatguy, isn’t it?
“Bella”donna keeps the werewolves away too, so far so good. Does it work on werepanthers? We don’t have too many wolves in my neighborhood, but we do got some highly-suspect werepanther making crystal meth in the modular home community activities going down, see?
Speaking of werepanthers, whatever happened to the Nastassja Kinky woman who was a werepanther in Cat People with David Bowie?
Anybody? Wakanda, I am coming! Where were we? Oh yes, identity. That’s Nastassja Kinky in Cat People in the header image too, by the way. Werepanthers is a thing. Is too! We’ve got proper documentation, or something…
So Bella Thorne. She’s pansexual. Probably doesn’t mean she’s into being abducted by a satyr such as Pan, though maybe she is. She who pays the piper is apt to call the tune. What song we got playin’ you thorney she-devil, you?
What does it mean? Pansexual
C’mon now, we’re not Puritans here. We try to keep it artistic, you know, have some merit at O Society… that said, nudge, nudge, there’s some freaky-deaky stuff in art if you go to a museum. Here’s Pan’s buddy called Priapus, from whom the term priapism comes. Oh look, spell-check is mad at the use of the word priapism. C’mon now, go look at the medical books. Those commercials on TV for Viagra, call the hospital if you’ve an erection lasting more than 48 hours and so on…
Dammit, man! You’ll put someone’s eye out with that thing. Put it back where it belongs, nevermind… don’t you reckon when all the blood goes down there to inflate his Über-tuber, they’ll be none left for his head, no, the big one, and his brain won’t have enough oxygen, and he’ll pass out from the… nevermind.
Well, yes, I looked at the original clickbait article in USA Today. It says Bella says she’s pansexual and it means:
“I’m actually pansexual, and I didn’t know that. Somebody explained to me really thoroughly what that is.”
Thorne described her sexuality as favoring someone’s personality more than their body.
“You like beings,” she said. “You like what you like. Doesn’t have to be a girl or a guy or a he or she or they or this or that. It’s literally you like personality. You just like a being.”
Pan is a being. Unicorns are beings. It doesn’t have to be “this” or “that.” WTF does any of this mean? I don’t know and neither do you. Does it mean she’ll have sex with anything, anytime, anywhere… because we already have experience with such a person…
Yeah, him. Freddie Mercury. Opera singer doing Madame Butterfly in a band named Queen singing Bohemian Rhapsody. That’s the one.
People get worked up about this stuff, but yes, this guy Freddie Mercury was pansexual long before Bella Thorne was born. Worked up as in priapism and worked up as in Letters to the Editor: “Labeling Freddie Mercury is inadequate. It may perpetuate and reinforce bisexual and pansexual erasure.”
Seriously, I don’t even know what “pansexual erasure” means, but perhaps it means nobody really has the right words for what the hell’s going on here. Maybe. We called it Super Freak back in the day, OK? Yes, Rick James before MC Hammer old school.
So… you can’t have sex with a “personality” regardless of what Bella Thorne says. Seriously. I may not know much but I know sex involves people rubbing their warm jiggly bits together as if trying to start a fire with two sticks in the woods… and some kerosene. See?
So… are we talking ghosts, too? No really. A ghost is a “being” with a “personality,” yet by definition, the ghost is a spirit. As in spiritual entity which doesn’t have a physical body, right? WTF is ghost sex?
C’mon now… somebody just wants attention.
We’ve talked many times about narcissism and celebrities, but is there a contest going on I don’t know about or something? One of those celebrity internet challenges where people dump buckets of ice water on themselves or something?
There’s regular old mono-sexual, meaning “I like one kind of human being to have sex with,” and there’s bi-sexual, meaning “I like two kinds of human beings (both males and females) to have sex with,” and I suppose there’s tri-sexual, meaning “I’ll try anything once, things I like, I’ll try more than once!”
Is it really this complicated? No, I’m not going on a unique little snowflake rant here but c’mon, man… What the everlasting fuck are you thinking?
Even Japanese people talk about what decadence and orgies and shenanigans and escapades did to escalate the fall of the Roman empire… we’ve talked about boundaries and abjection here before as well. And for the most part, I’m a live and let live sort of person. Hippocratic oath. First, do no harm. Sex and violence are not the same thing, which is why we have two different words for these two distinct things. So we remember the difference. If we forget the difference, then it’s called “abuse.”
If it doesn’t involve children or non-human animals – because neither is capable of giving consent to participate – then for the most part, I don’t care much what you do in your sex life. I mean, if I’m not having sex with you, then what business is it of mine to tell you whom you should have sex with? Really? The heart wants what the heart wants. It’s all good in this sense.
But damn, folks. What’s with the spectacle thing? Someone like Bella Thorne – who I’m not sure I’ve heard of or would recognize before today – makes million$ off telling us blow-by-blow in her book about abuse and having no boundaries and she goes from the rather beautiful looking young woman at the beginning of this article to talking about how she’ll have sex with anyone and we’re supposed to applaud or gawk or rubberneck or get in line or what?
Just give her our money? Because this seems like the proper response according to all the signals we’re sending and receiving through our mainstream media. She’s a celebrity. So gawk and give her your money already. She’s crazy and damaged and mentally ill and who knows what else and we celebrate it. She’s a celebrity. It’s a celebration!
And everyone is wondering out loud “WTF is wrong with Bella Thorne?”
The question we ought to be asking is WTF is wrong with us? This is what we do for entertainment, folks. Threaten and abuse girls, then laugh and gawk when these girls respond by going sideways.