Hello there and welcome to Echochamber Friday, when we intentionally lookit stories in our newsfeed we’d otherwise ignore to avoid getting caught in the spectacle for the sake of sanity and what not. Here’s today’s story ‘PREYED ON KIDS’ Twisted mum, 47, ‘had sex with her son’s two 14-year-old pals while plying them with alcohol and drugs’
by O Society October 16, 2019
And yes, it is Wednesday rather than Friday. We lookit the echochamber anyway. OK, so let’s dispense with the obvious “hot takes” cliché we no doubt will hear in cases such as this, not to amplify the volume but rather to just get it over with. My first impression was, “She looks like Kim Basinger. She can come sexually abuse me anytime.”
Meet Amalia Utz, and of course her mugshot is in the header.
Now the canned reaction from men is going to be this, “You can’t rape the willing. She’s every fourteen-year-old boy’s fantasy.” And you’re not wrong. How-EV-er, we should lookit this situation below the surface-level spectacle if we really mean to understand it and get something out of hearing about it, right?
Stacey’s mom, Stifler’s mom, we’ve celebrated this story before, haven’t we?
Shall we dust off Ms. Robinson?
To state the obvious, the average American man gets his many of his archetype ideas of sex and icon women ideals from watching the movies. TV. Hollywood. Porn. We all know the drill. Ginger or Mary Anne?
The correct answer is, of course,“Both, and throw in Marcia Brady so I can have all 3 flavors!” It’s a false dichotomy.
Now we’ve gotten this out of the way, if you are a 47-year-old man (and I might be in this ball park), then Amalia Utz looks just like the stereotype Kim Basinger we were taught to worship in the ’80s, and this is why we’ll pay attention to this story, and pretend we’re interested in morality while we do so.
Kim Basinger age 47 in the 2000 film Out of Africa
But what if… what if we are actually interested in the actual morality of this actual situation? Not the stereotypes stereotype images we are systematically taught to think in, in our current version of today’s American society. What if?
As in think outside the box. No, the real one. We are not virtue signalling each other here; not here to publicly condemn or castigate this woman (and the teenagers).
What is really going on here if we are brutally honest with ourselves about our feelings and morality and this situation?
Is it as a man, I don’t really have a problem with this sort of thing because this is what I have been taught? Seriously. I have been taught to go after the Kim Basinger woman, – and don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about this teaching – I like it, like it so much the idea is some sort of reproducible icon which is cause for celebration. Something I have in common with my fellow man? A shared bond between us?
If so, then what we realize is our sense of morality – right and wrong – is not so much grounded in real absolute values, but rather it is a convention. Exactly, there isn’t much obvious right and wrong going on here so much as what’s going on is as a society, we’ve decided to reach an agreement, in principle, an adult having sex with a minor is a bad thing. Legally speaking, go to jail, do not pass Go, do not collect $200.
Amirite? Thing is, the convention agreed upon by the people of California is the age of consent is 18 years. Where I live, the convention agreed upon is 16 years old. Why the difference? Hell if I know. First thing which jumps to mind is they make a whole lotta movies in Hollywood, so there’s this thing about not having minors under the age of 18 appear in pornography. They make movies where I live too, I know because I’ve been in a couple, I’m not famous and don’t want to be, but sometimes you are in a certain place at a certain time and you get 15 seconds of fame as an extra or something in a movie. No big deal, unless you start taking your clothes off or something sketchy.
So the truth is, it isn’t clear why the age of consent is 18 in California, yet 16 where I live. It’s more than just movies, because movies are filmed in both states regularly. So what’s going on here?
Yes, I know Amalia Utz is being charged with sex with 14-year-old boys, who are under the age of consent – what’s called “jailbait” in the vernacular – which technically is illegal in both states, and all the other states in the US. Convention says this is against the law. This is not the debate here. This question is already answered. What isn’t answered is why does this sort of thing seem “bad” if girls are involved with an adult male, yet “good’ if boys are involved with and adult female?
Here’s Amalia Utz having a margarita with a guy who looks more her own age. She’s a vixen and he’s a silver fox. They are at a movie theater. No red flags. No lines of cocaine on the table top or anything obvious. Looks like a perfectly normal date, right? Right. But what’s this guy doing?
Yes, he’s got his hands together in a prayer posture looking at Amalia, so maybe he’s praying he’s going to “get lucky” with her after the movie and drinks, right? Again, perfectly normal situation. Not judging anyone for doing anything. Looks to me like she’s probably had collagen injected into her lips, but it is LA. So has everybody else in LA. Collagen and who knows what. She’s 47 and looks great, and I’m guessing she’s had a little surgical help in getting this way. No big deal. Again, not judging. But what’s he doing?
Right, I don’t know for certain, but my guess is the guy bought her some drinks and paid for the movie and maybe dinner and who knows what? All the Sherlock Holmes movies aside, it’s hard to tell much by deductive reasoning based solely on a single photo without convincing ourselves of a story which just might not be true. Agreed?
OK, so the guy is doing what guys do to get a woman to have sex, right? Buy her a couple drinks, alcohol lubricates the brain, relaxes some inhibitions, right? Classic story, wine and dine the lady. Thing is, this is what Amalia Utz did with these fourteen year olds. She bought them some drinks, maybe some weed, who knows. Same thing, entertainment, movies, parties… the scenarios are much the same.
So why is it OK for man who is 47 to do this with a woman who’s 47, yet is isn’t OK for a 47-year-old woman to do with a 14-year-old man/boy?
I’m not sure. I am (almost) sure the 14 year old enjoyed it and considers himself fortunate rather than exploited. So presuming both Amalia and this 14-year-old high school kid consented and enjoyed it, what’s the problem?
Who you got… Princess Bride or Mulholland Drive?
It’s much more difficult to answer this question and I don’t claim to have the answer. Certainly people can hit puberty and not be emotionally mature enough to do sex responsibly. This happens to most all of us, right? We get boobs and pubic hair and erections and menstruation and feeling, both sensory and emotional, and hell, let’s admit it we’re all mostly emotional nightmares when we’re teenagers.
What I’m saying to you all is maybe this lady took advantage of fourteen year olds. Maybe they took advantage of her somehow too. I don’t know. Not judging. What we are doing here is admitting there isn’t so much of a concrete Right and Wrong with a capital “R” and a capital “W” meaning obvious and universally agreed upon point of view to be had here.
Let’s be serious here and rigorously honest too. The legal statutes themselves say there are exceptions to be made for 12-15 year olds (meaning teenagers) if they are married. So how does marriage magically change someone into a responsible adult? Right. It doesn’t. These exceptions are made for cases where somebody got somebody pregnant and there was a shotgun wedding and so on.
Thing is, the people we derive our laws from – I mean originally back in the day – we get our philosophy and morals and government legal system from the ancient Greeks and the Romans who later copied them, Play-doh and SO-crates and those guys, right? So guess what they did?
Right. They said it is cool for adults to teach teenagers about sex (meaning hands on training) in a relationship called pederasty.
Again, not judging anyone here. I don’t really have a stone to throw at Amalia Utz, nor do I want to take a stone to the head meant for her. What I’m saying is it wasn’t obvious to the Greeks such as – Plato and Aristotle and Socrates – this sort of thing is illegal and immoral and I think to some extent, rather than crucifying or celebrating someone like Amalia Utz, you know, the spectacle, maybe we should take a minute to remind ourselves of how many things we do and have done and will do which aren’t so black and white, so obviously wrong everyone can see it easily.
Maybe a bunch of stuff we do and say is customs and conventions and agreements and a whole lotta arbitrary and room for nuance rather than cut’n’dry right and wrong. And I mean a BUNCH, as in most of it, maybe even all of it if we look at it objectively the way Mother Nature or the Greeks or “laws of the jungle” or even the Bible looks at it.
Mmm hmm, the Bible is filled with strange sex stories sanctioned and blessed and orchestrated by God. Remember Sodom and Gommorah? The story which is supposed to damn homosexuals to hell? Did you ever ask yourself what happened with Lot and his daughters after God torched the place and turned Lot’s wife into a pillar of salt?
Maybe we should read it before we judge the Other… says here Lot’s daughters got him drunk and had sex with him and repopulated the place. This is what God said to do, it’s clear in Genesis 19: 30-38. God said do incestual rape…
Again to be glaringly redundant, just so there is no chance of misunderstanding, I do not advocate sodomy, incest, pedophilia, or pederasty here. This is not the point. If a person has not yet reached puberty, then they have no business having sex with anyone. That is pedophilia. It’s bad. It’s wrong. Lock’em up.
But what if everyone involved has hit puberty and is trying to figure out what to do with their jiggly bits? What if everyone consents to the experience? No one is coerced or forced so it isn’t rape. No one is exploited in the sense of making porn or profit here. Legally speaking, a 14-year-old cannot give consent to sex, so we call it “statutory rape” meaning rape by statute. The legal statute says 18 in California. It’s illegal because the statute says so, which is a bit of a circular justification, isn’t it?
However, legal is not the same thing as moral. I believe war is immoral, as in killing civilians we don’t know and have never met, which is a part of war. Yet it doesn’t seem to be illegal. Neither the generals or the privates get locked up for doing it and we could make a case what they do is murder.
The point is we as a culture in America send mixed messages to everyone involved. On one hand, Stifler’s mom is the eponymous Mother I’d Like to Fuck (MILF). Is it wrong or isn’t it? I don’t know. Probably depends on knowing the exact circumstances of what happened, both retrospectively and prospectively, which I don’t know, and no one else does either.
As males, we are taught to idolize the fantasy embodiment of sexuality, such as Kim Basinger. and naming something as “taboo” makes the something even more interesting to us.
And though the idea of having sex with or marrying our own father and mother is so beyond – Ewww! – most of us never have this thought in our heads (I haven’t ever consciously though about this in any case), the idea of having sex with someone else’s mom or dad isn’t icky at all really… seems natural, just as having children is natural in the first place.
Lookit what Americans do for porn. #1 is MILF and #4 is Step Mom
So the question remains, just what is it about this unconventional MILF/ teenage boy thing is so “wrong?” It’s hard to put your finger on, isn’t it? The very “wrongness” of it is what makes it so attractive to men in the first place. Could it be in at least some situations (certainly not all situations) having an early sexual encounter with an older woman can help awkward teenage boys learn about sex, how to do it, what pleases a woman, and so on? There going to learn it from porn you know; it’s free on the internet and accessible to everyone with internet access…
There are all sorts of types of love, is the problem this Utz situation mixes up erotic (desire) love with storge (familial) love? Does it leave these teenage boys confused as to who is their mother or something?
I don’t know. And that’s OK. Nobody has to agree or disagree with this essay. All it is designed to do us make us think, use our critical thinking skills. Stop with the scarlet letters and throwing tomatoes at this Utz lady for a moment and ponder, just what goes on in our heart of hearts, in the deep unconscious layers of our minds when we dream, both when we are awake and asleep.