Super Bowled

by O Society 02 02, 2020

One of the earliest childhood memories still bouncing around inside my befuddled noggin is of football. A specific moment on a particular day. I remember on what must have been January 9, 1977 my dad and I watched the Super Bowl together. The TV Guide cover is the header of this very article for this very game on that very day.

Yes, we used to subscribe to a printed paper magazine. It came in the mailbox once a week, and told everybody what was coming on TV for each and every hour of each and every day of the week. Like a map. It took some work in those days to figure out how to be in front of the TV at the right time, in the right place, to see your show, of course. No remote control. No VCR. Just the TV as a piece of furniture really, a wooden box with a magic window, and wa-ay too heavy to move by yourself.

I remember distinctly thumbing through this magazine, finding the game day details with these two football helmets drawn on the paper…

One of a purple viking guy who looked something like this:


Football helmet worn by Vikings Safety Paul Krause

and another of a pirate guy who looked like this:


Football helmet worn by Raiders Quarterback Ken Stabler

So being a good kindergartner – as I was at the time – I said, “Hey, Dad! Whoever wins this game is going to be my favorite  team – FOREVER!”

Right? This is how kids think, permanence on a whim. Flip a coin. Go! It’s fun

And so it was, the One-Horned Purple People Eaters vs. the One-Eyed Pirate Guys – and AWAY!

And by the end of the day, I remember saying, “Dad, why did those Silver Pirate People kick the living crap out of the Purple Viking people? Did it have to be so bad?”

I was a kindergartner, but I know a can of WHOOP-ASS!!! when I see one, don’t I?

We all know what an ass-beating looks like, don’t we? From first-hand experience. Everybody.

So what I learned on Super day is find a no-lose situation – such as Viking guys vs. Pirate guys – what kid doesn’t love both vikings and pirates simultaneously, right?

Still do love ’em to this day.

Vikings is a hella good show.

The Outer Banks don’t look so far away, do they?

Maybe in the end, we’re all just tall tales told on Any Given Sunday.

Even God. All I know is somebody told me I gotta pick a side. So I did. I picked a side.

It seemed random at the time. Now it seems like fate. Is there a difference, a real one?

Did I pick the wrong side, Dad? How is that even possible?

Aren’t we supposed to pick a team and stay loyal for life?

Something about team colors never run… I chose Silver’nBlack and lived it, Dad, for reals.

But I’m on your side, Dad.

and I love you.

If nobody reads this but You and Me, so be it. That’s enough.

I think it’s great just to have been alive together at the same time.

Who woulda thought we’d go from watchin’ folks fightin’ in a magic wooden box with a paper TV guide in hand to this?

It’s enough. More than I’d hoped and dreamed of, really when you think about it.

A bunch of Star Trek stuff, communicators and automatic doors, and phasers and shit!

It came true. We should be satisfied. And I am. At peace now, finally.

Peace of mind




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